Give Yourself a Deadline

With how contemplative things are going this Lenten season, I thought of sharing an important lesson I recently learned. If you are currently at life’s crossroads in which a decision has to be made soon, this may help you put things in proper perspective.

I have come to terms with myself that reckoning with a cumbersome situation longer than I should have is one big regret. When it started to become a problem, I thought staying strong and waiting for conditions to improve were the best solutions. I expected things would turn out to be better sooner or later. Unfortunately, it went from bad to worse and it only turned out to be a disappointment, making me realize that I should have walked out of it years ago.

Singing the Same Tune Still

Around the same date two years ago I was feeling down and lost, and my heart enveloped with hatred and animosity. Is it some kind of a joke life is pulling on me that I’m finding myself in the exact same heavy state?

It could be a seasonal thing—February being the month of defeat for me and the month of love for the rest of the world. I might even have to thank Josh Groban for coming up with February Song as an anthem.

When I go through low points like this, I take the time to stop for a moment and re-assess my life. I think about my priorities, the things that matter to me and where I’m heading. It’s not the easiest thing to do. It entails re-living portions of life like the successes I enjoyed, the mistakes I made, and the consequences I suffered just to name a few. It takes me on a new series of emotions. But the good thing about it is it becomes an eye-opener. It makes me realize that I could be doing things for the wrong reasons. Or I could be doing the wrong things right off the bat.

They say when you fall into the same pit every time, it’s time you do some tweaking in your life. And that just could be the answer to my problem.

I am changing my plan of action this time. And a change of environment perhaps.

Yeah, I think it’s time to go…

29 Things I’ve Learned in Life

1. We are all equal, but not the same.
2. People come and go. But some will choose to stay.
3. Respect is given and Trust is earned, not the other way around.
4. Be nice to everyone. (Or at least try to.)
5. Smile.
6. Value people and relationships.
7. If you want something done right, do it yourself.
8. We don’t own our lives.
9. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
10. A public place is a shared space not a free-for-all space.
11. Respect policies.
12. Keep your promises.
13. Choose your battles. Sometimes peace and class are more important than proving others wrong.
14. Accept the fact that you are not always right.
15. Please and thank you have been and forever will be magic words.
16. Say sorry whenever you hurt someone (intentionally or not).
17. Treasure each moment with family.
18. Keep honesty as one of your virtues.
19. What goes around, comes around.
20. Grammar is as important as breakfast.
21. You are beyond your occupation. Don’t let it define you.
22. Each life story is unique. Just because one thing happened to your friend doesn’t necessarily mean it will happen to you.
23. The more you judge people, the more you will be surprised.
24. Blaming people won’t get you anywhere.
25. Be passionate.
26. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
27. Dress appropriately.
28. Don’t be afraid to say ‘I love you’ when you actually mean it.
29. God is good.

Wanted: A Leader Worth Following

The recently concluded series of Victory entitled Unpopular has made a strong impact in me because it is applicable not only to the upcoming elections (happening in five days), but also to our personal growth as citizens who can lead in our own living spaces. It gave us an overview of the qualities we should look for in choosing the leaders for our country and it reminded us of the type of leaders we should aspire to be.

Leadership is usually regarded as a topic that should be discussed among a specific group of people only because most people think that it is solely for individuals who have people under their command or for those who hold positions in government, offices and organizations. On the contrary, we can all be leaders because leadership is influence. And all of us are capable of influencing other people. Sociologists say that even the most introverted person will influence at least ten thousand people in his or her lifetime.

Social media has made it even easier for us to influence a bigger audience. That is why with all the social media accounts that we have, we want to gain more followers Twitter, more likes on Facebook and more views in YouTube. It also has become a tool to measure the magnitude of influence.

With this in mind, we must be gear our actions toward becoming leaders worth following, deflecting from the widely known perception of what a leader is. Thus, the title Unpopular.

1. A true leader is selfless.

It is natural for anyone to think of his own interest, but only a true leader places others above himself. He constantly thinks of the welfare of other people — needs, potentials and development. He also takes the extra effort to protect them from violence, harm and from forces that can cause people to feel demoralized.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

— Philippians 2:3–4 NIV

2. A true leader serves.

Politicians are supposedly public servants. They are elected to serve the people and candidates should not aspire for position for personal gains. Being a leader is hard work as opposed to what is believed by many. It is working for others’ sake and for the betterment of the people he serves.

The measure of a man is not how many servants he has but how many men he serves.

— Dwight L. Moody

 3. A true leader is humble.

A true leader knows how to take responsibility for decisions and actions. And it includes admitting to faults, apologizing and rectifying mistakes. Moreover, a leader will not mind taking the lowliest or the most unwanted task for the team.

Level 5 leaders look out the window to attribute success to factors other than themselves. When things go poorly, however, they look in the mirror and blame themselves, taking full responsibility.

— James C. “Jim” Collins, Good to Great

4. A true leader sacrifices.

To be a leader worth following means to set aside comforts, carry the burdens, for the benefit of other people. Even when the gains are uncertain or less than what is to be given up, a true leader will wholeheartedly make that sacrifice as long as he believes it will improve the condition of the people he serves.

There is no success without sacrifice. If you succeed without sacrifice it is because someone has suffered before you. If you sacrifice without success it is because someone will succeed after.

— Rick Joyner

Entitlement prevents the rise of true leaders. Having this mindset looks to the privileges and gains of what leaders can attain rather than the service and positive change that should be given to people. What are deemed as “privileges” are supposedly tools for leaders to be able to fulfill their responsibilities of serving and creating an environment fit for the people to grow and be the best versions of themselves.

The popular view of a leader is one who has all the conveniences at hand. Everyone desires to be on top in thinking that it promises countless privileges that make life easy and enjoyable. The true essence of leadership is actually the opposite. It is not focusing on what you can get, but what you can give to people. It is not how the world can change you, but how you can change the world for the better.

If you missed the Unpopular series, you may listen to the podcasts here.